I have often eyed couples cuddling and huddling in the movies. I have also seen them being mushy in the real world. From teens to twenty-somethings and all the way up to the oldies. I have seen all the age groups of them. At times, I saw the places choked for the Valentines and people being expressive on the social media as well. I have also seen the hand-in-hand walks of couples in parks and malls. They all seem to enjoy the relationship too well.
These scenes are inevitable. I can’t get rid of these. The issue is, single people cannot isolate themselves from the world of couples. I cannot have the world where I only see my work, my travel destinations, my sports, my adventures and my pitchers of beer.
I am bound to see these couples going out on a promotional campaign of their love. So in a way, I am bound to have a monologue to myself in front of a mirror. Would I feel the same if I was in a relationship? And the even bigger question, Why I chose to remain single in the first place?
The question arises in the minds of many, and that’s why I came up with the most probable reasons. It might be one from the following for you.
This might be the biggest reason for people remaining single these days. Forget men, even women today are too career conscious to give a damn about a love affair. People are working hard in their jobs, businesses, and startups. Now this hard work isn’t going to spare them the time and energy to gout out and meet people. Reaching home after the day’s work, people mostly tend to slip into a pyjama and be cosy on the bed. They are too exhausted to go out and meet people. Add to that the responsibility and time a relationship needs. It seems only kids in schools and colleges will fall in love in future.
You may also like: 11 Ways to Impress a Girl
Lack of self-esteem
Modern day boys and girls are more conscious about their looks and shapes than ever. Not having the types belonging to the good league as per the societal norms lowers their self-esteem. A voice in their head keeps on chirping. “You are too fat or too ugly.” “You are a failure you don’t deserve to be loved.” These kinds of lines kill their confidence. As a result, they close themselves to people. Such people even give up easily when they find someone else is interested in the same person.
Jailed in self-built walls
Some people due to bad relationship events become too wary to open up to people. Now we aren’t talking about the love links. This starts even before knowing what dating and love mean. Experiences range from the smallest of the issues to the more severe ones, and so does the impact. Some of them have faced parental negligence, and some have even been molested and harassed and were asked not to talk about it. Such unhealthy experiences close these people in a box hard to open up.
A lot of us out of sheer frustration from constant rejection fell into unhealthy link ups. Some people tend to choose a person without enough emotional availability. They have faced negligence in the past and attention makes them uneasy. That’s the reason they choose an unavailable person by default.
Now linking up with a person not emotionally into you has an obvious outcome. It hurts you, and the relationship fails. You then develop a mental self-image which screams that you aren’t the perfect fit for a relationship. People in such situations feel better off single.
You may Also Like: Why do startup founders remain single?
No getting over
Some people fell strongly for a person and when unsatisfied fell out of him. But that doesn’t end there. That one event makes them judgemental for life. A girl might feel that all the boys in the world are same. They all are cheaters, and the world is out of good guys. Or even if there are a few, they are all taken. Likewise, a boy might feel that all the girls are out for using the boys. Generalisation isn’t good and people need to learn and start giving more chances.
Phobia of intimacy
Some people carry the fantasies of love all the way to adulthood and getting along with the real life love disrupts that belief. They in no case want to do that. They might not feel too great being intimate. Closeness beyond a certain prefixed limit for them cannot be absorbed. They go on to create scenes and misbehave, and they do it to avoid that intimacy. That, in the long run, fails the whole thing and they end up single for long years.
Sticking to a rule book
Some people create a rule book based on their past experiences. A thing that didn’t work with a person becomes avoidable with others. Following such a rule book can never result in a great relationship. A thing that didn’t work with a person can be magical with another. So never have a prefixed set of rules while you enter a relationship and don’t even buy into other person’s rules. It’s love, not a treaty right?
So have you placed your reason for staying single? It might just be present here.