Have kids they said, it would be fun they said! How about this: you wanted me to have kids, I did that and I don’t like them. It was your idea in the first place. I will be round at 8pm. They can live with you seeing as this is all your fault.
Yeah, kids and especially babies are not all sunshine and rainbows. Apart from being sh*t machines and making you rip your hair out, they make it their priority to wreck your house every minute they get. Here’s ten reasons – well pictures – what will change any of you broody women out there. (husbands, send this post to your wife if you want to put her off wanting a baby)”
LOOK THE HECK THIS CHILD IS CREATING
Hey! If you don’t have a nice butt then don’t have a child, because this will what will happen when you would be spending those precious hard earned cash on these nuisances.
BECAUSE THEY WASTE TOILET PAPER
Take it this way, every alternate day you have to go the store to buy toilet paper. The owner has now started to give you wierd looks, he thinks you do something illegal with the toilet paper or he thinks you poop a lot. He does not think about the child though, because those devils have cute faces.
They are the real white walkers we have to face in our life. They plan to convert us into zombies like them by spilling white paints all over.
WHAT MY WALLS !
Remember the days, when you and your lover together had naughty fun painting these walls, the sweet peach and the calm sky blue. How the f**k can you allow your little nasty beings paint them black.
YOU DON’T HAVE SOFAS
Oh so you think you had sofas in your house, no better, you thought you had friends inspired comfortable sofas which were waiting for your ass all day and a bottle of chilled beer down your throat. Caution: have children and they would kill the sofas and their springs would be out in no minute.
These little bastards, they pretend to be innocent. Pretend to be PICASSO or how do we know maybe MOZART. And then make cute faces so their parents forget the loss and instead take selfies with their cute and stupid babies.
FLOUR ON THE FLOOR
Well yea. Anything that is powdery, be it flour or talcum; keep it away from their reach or they will see to it that it is not in their poly-bags but lying on the floor dead.
I THOUGHT TIBETIANS WERE CUTE
The only time when i thought children were cute, i thought children were tibetians. But no they are devils.
MY COGNAC COLLECTION!
Had you ever brought some expensive cognac for your collection? Or had plans of drinking some good scotch tonight? Well cancel. Because you also brought children.
WHAT EVEN IS THAT?
Not saying anything.